Tag Archives: DuPage County divorce attorney

How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

divorce, Wheaton divorce lawyerThe truth is that not every marriage will last forever, and in some cases, this is a good thing. Sometimes, people in a marriage realize that it would be better if they were no longer married. They may be simply no longer in love with each other, have grown apart, or one spouse does something that the other spouse cannot accept, such as have an affair. Oftentimes, one person in the relationship starts considering divorce before the other does. In such a case, it can be extremely difficult for the spouse seeking a divorce to tell their partner of their decision. There is no perfect way to tell your spouse that you want a divorce, but experts do have some advice to help make the conversation more effective and less painful.

Have a Plan and Remain Calm

Firstly, it is important to have the conversation with your spouse at a time that you are alone and there are not distractions. If you have children, wait until they are not around to break the news. Try to have a calm, non-aggressive attitude. The process of telling your spouse you want a divorce is often one of the most difficult and agonizing conversations a person can have. Getting overly emotional will only cause the conversation to become an ineffective fight or cause one of the spouses to become overwhelmed.

Avoid the Blame Game

Relationship experts also encourage people discussing divorce to avoid using accusatory language and instead only speak about their own personal feelings. For example, instead of saying to your spouse, “You never pay attention to me!” say “I feel lonely.” Even if you believe that the divorce is your spouse’s fault, you have already made you decision. There is no point in laying blame.

Focus on the Goal

It has been said that no happy marriage ends in divorce. If you are seeking a divorce, it is because you believe that things will be better when you are no longer married. Keep this in mind. The divorce process may be painful and tedious, but there is reason to remain hopeful. Many people who get divorced go on to live happier lives than they ever thought possible.

Let Us Help

If you are considering divorce, our skilled attorneys are ready to provide the guidance you need throughout every step of the process. Contact a Wheaton divorce lawyer at the Andrew Cores Family Law Group and schedule your free initial consultation today. Call 630-871-1002 for an appointment.

 

Sources:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/04/ask-for-divorce_n_5631041.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/divorce-grownups/200911/telling-your-spouse-you-want-divorce

Pre- and Post-Decree Divorce Mediation

mediation, Wheaton divorce attorneysMediation and other forms of alternative dispute resolution are fast becoming a popular substitute for a standard courtroom divorce, especially for couples who still are able to maintain a good working relationship. However, it is not uncommon to see couples commencing a mediation without a real grasp of what it actually entails, especially if they are doing so post-decree, or after a divorce decree. While everyone’s experience will be slightly different, there are some things that remain the same and some that will differ from a pre-decree mediation.

Lots of Flexibility Pre-Decree

Finding a mediator in Illinois is usually not difficult, especially in the Chicago area. There are multiple organizations that field trained mediation professionals, some (but not all) of whom are also attorneys. You must choose one if the mediation is not specifically court-ordered, but the fee to hire a mediator is generally split between both parties—though if you prefer, one party may foot the bill in exchange for assets or another advantage. The decision is up to the couple, as are most in this process.

The bulk of mediation in Illinois is also usually done pre-decree—that is, before your divorce is officially final—but post-decree does happen and it is not frowned upon, generally speaking. The number of sessions, however, is up to you and your spouse; there is no plan or required number that a couple must complete in order to declare a mediation finished. Many couples are more encouraged to have multiple sessions because all communications stemming from a mediation (with rare exceptions) are privileged, meaning they cannot be used against the party making them in court or on another occasion.

Post-Decree Modifications

Compared to pre-decree mediation, post-decree tends to be focused more on isolated issues rather than re-litigating the entire divorce. Mediation after a divorce decree has been signed is more about modifying any aspects of your original agreement that have become untenable or unfair. For example, you may have changed jobs since your original mediation and divorce decree signing, and the resultant pay cut may put the previously agreed-upon amount of child support or spousal support out of reach. Another common example is if something happens to one of your children which results in their needing long-term care. Mediation can be used to determine whether your ex-spouse will help with the costs and if so, how much.

One thing to remember is that post-decree mediation is never mandatory. Some people, despite good experiences, become wary of using mediation for post-decree matters, and while there is no need, it can be a relief to know that the option of filing in court to address a potential post-divorce modification of the divorce decree there. All a court needs is to see evidence of a substantial change in circumstances, and you have a good chance of obtaining the modification you seek.

Need Help Understanding Mediation?

While mediation is generally less complex than people fear, it can still be confusing. Our passionate DuPage County mediators and divorce attorneys can sit down with you and help determine your best option going forward. Contact the offices today to set up an initial consultation.

 

Sources:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/documents/071000350K4.htm

Relocating With Your Child After Divorce

relocating, DuPage County family law attorneyIt is not uncommon after a divorce that one or both spouses express a desire to relocate, whether their intent is to change jobs, to get a fresh start, or for some other reason. However, if there are children involved in the marriage and divorce, it is incumbent upon all involved to have a discussion about where one is able to relocate and still have contact with their children, presuming contact is still a desired goal. Illinois law regarding relocation was amended at the beginning of last year, so some well-meaning parents may not even be aware that restrictions are now different. Still, the consequences can be significant for those who do not follow the law.

Notice Is Mandatory

The first thing to be aware of when discussing relocation ability is that notice must be provided to the other parent in writing, and it must be at least 60 days before the planned relocation if possible. If not, “as soon as practicable” will generally suffice. You must provide your new address and moving date (if known), as well as a rough approximation of how long the relocation will last if it is intended to be temporary. For example, a military servicemember may seek to relocate with his or her children for the duration of their assignment at a specific base or posting.

At this point, the non-moving parent may simply sign the notice and return it, signifying consent to the move, or he or she may contest it. If the intent to relocate with the child or children is contested, that is where the court steps in. It is essentially the court’s job to work out either an acceptable adjustment to the parties’ parenting plan or to determine that the relocating party’s proposal is not in the child’s best interest and deny the request totally. It is important to note that a court cannot generally prevent a parent from relocating, but it can prevent a parent doing so with his or her children.

The Best Interests of the Child

As with so many other issues surrounding divorce and family law, the question of whether a parent may relocate with their child is going to be decided by what the court holds will be in the child’s best interests. Any factor in this vein is likely to be considered, including the stated reasons for the relocation, the relationship the child has with both parents (or lack thereof), and whether the parents would be able to facilitate a relationship between the child and the parent who did not move.

One detail is important to keep in mind, however. Under the modified law, permission to relocate must only be sought in certain situations. Previously, one could move anywhere in the state without needing permission; now, the scope is limited by geographical area rather than a political boundary. The Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction & Enforcement Act (UCCJEA) even holds, for example, that if a child moves 25 miles or less away from their previous residence, even if out of state, Illinois is still considered their home state for custody purposes.

Need Help With a Petition For Relocation?

It is understandable for a divorced person to want a fresh start elsewhere. However, unless you have sole custody, you cannot simply move elsewhere with your child or children. To more fully understand your rights and responsibilities with regard to relocation, it is generally a good idea to consult an attorney before filing anything. Our dedicated DuPage County parenting time attorneys are happy to assist you. Call our office today to set up an appointment.

 

Sources:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/fulltext.asp?DocName=075000050K609.2

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?ActID=2497&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=1400000&SeqEnd=2500000