Co-Parenting with Your Ex’s New Spouse or Partner

 Posted on February 15, 2019 in Divorce

Divorce is one of the hardest decisions anyone can make. Unfortunately, the adjustments do not end as soon as the divorce agreement is finalized. Eventually, life does move forward, and both parties will begin new relationships that may result in marriage.

When children are involved, starting a new relationship means inviting someone else into their lives, something that should not be taken lightly. Here are some tips to help you co-parent with your ex-spouse’s new significant other:

Keep Your Feelings in Check

Effective co-parenting is essential for the well-being of your child. Although it is natural to experience moments of jealousy, anger, sadness, or regret, it is essential not to allow that to interfere with the task at hand: effective co-parenting. If you recognize these emotions within yourself, use your support system to work through them. Take this time to lean on your friends, family, or a therapist so when it comes time to interact with your ex’s new partner, you can maintain a cool, calm, and collected demeanor.

Kids Are Not Your Support System

Although we all want to be close with our children by being the person they choose to confide in, your problems are not their burden to bear. They love both you and your ex equally, and will likely soon grow to love your ex’s new partner. Luckily, children have the innate ability to love unconditionally and without end. There is room in their life for all of you. Do not let any personal insecurities you might experience allow you to speak poorly of the new person in their lives. No one can replace you in your child’s life. Using your parenting time with your child to foster ill-feelings is a poor use of this precious time and only tarnishes your relationship with them. Instead, spend time creating new memories they will cherish forever.

Support Your Children

Your children may be confused and slightly uneasy about the transition. It is important to remember this throughout the change. Consistency helps create stability, so do not miss your engagements on the schedule. Be on time or early to every pickup. Reduce as many disruptions as possible. Communicate directly with your ex, and their new spouse, to ensure everyone is on the same page and that your children always come first.

Ask a DuPage County Divorce Attorney

If your spouse remarried or is in a new relationship and a legal adjustment is necessary, a Wheaton, IL child custody modification lawyer can help. The knowledgeable attorneys at Andrew Cores Family Law Group understand the emotional impact of these transitions and will work to alleviate some of the stress. Let us help you find the best solution. Call our office today at 630-871-1002 to schedule your free initial consultation.

Sources:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?ActID=2086&SeqStart=8300000&SeqEnd=10000000

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs5.asp?ActID=2497