Tag Archives: co-parenting

Back to School Co-Parenting

back to school, DuPage County family law attorneysThe stores are filled with sales on pencils, notebooks, folders, and backpacks. This could only mean one thing: it is back-to-school season! If you are a parent, you have probably been buying supplies, meeting new teachers, and getting back into the swing of the school year. Things may be especially chaotic if you have recently split from your spouse. How can parents manage school schedules and responsibilities while sharing parental responsibilities with their ex? There is no perfect way to co-parent but experts do have some advice for newly divorced parents helping their child go back to school.

  • Do not be afraid to involve the school staff. If you are worried about how your child will deal with the strain of school on top of dealing with a changing family, you are not alone. Many families have found themselves in a similar position. The teachers, counselors and other school staff have probably helped dozens of students through such family changes. Do not be afraid to reach out and let your child’s teacher know what is going on at home.
  • Check the school’s website for valuable information. As technology becomes a greater and greater part of our everyday lives, many schools are utilizing the internet in order to communicate with parents. Make sure you get on any email or text lists your child’s school may use and check out the school’s website for information. Many schools even post grades online so that parents can see how their children are doing in their classes.
  • Get on a consistent schedule. Parenting experts agree that children thrive when their lives are predictable and scheduled. If it is possible, talk to your ex and work out when the child will wake up and when he or she will go to sleep. Will he or she finish homework before or after dinner? Try to have a similar schedule and rules as the child’s other parent.
  • Avoid burdening your child with adult worries. As tempting as it is to “trash-talk” a deadbeat ex, doing so will only burden your child with information that they are not equipped to handle. Even if you do not get along with the child’s other parent, remember that they are still an important part of your child’s life. If you need to have a tough conversation with your ex, stick to the facts, and keep the details between the adults.
  • Communicate with the other parent. Those who share a child with an ex-spouse are in a different situation than those who do not. Divorced couples who do not have children are able to make a clean break from each other. Once a divorce is finalized, they can move on with their lives. Couples who share a child do not have this ability. Even though you have decided not to be in a romantic relationship with your child’s other parent, you will still have to communicate with him or her regarding your child’s well-being. It can be a difficult process but your child will be happier and healthier for it.

We Can Help

If the back-to-school season has revealed issues that need to be addressed in your parenting plan, contact an experienced Wheaton family law attorney. Call 630-871-1002 for a free consultation with the Andrew Cores Family Law Group today.

 

Sources:

https://www.healthychildren.org/English/news/Pages/Back-to-School-Tips.aspx

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/two-takes-depression/201203/the-dos-and-donts-co-parenting-well

Relocating With a Child Under Recent Changes to Illinois Law

relocation, DuPage County family law attorneyAt the beginning of this year, major updates to the Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act came into effect, and changed the way various issues regarding divorce, child custody, visitation, and other significant issues are handled in Illinois family cases. One such major change is in when parents seeking to relocate with their children should seek permission from an Illinois court before making the move.

Parental Moves

Previously, a parent could relocate or move anywhere within the state without seeking permission from the court, however, the parent was generally restricted from relocating to an out of state location without judicial permission. Therefore, if a parent was moving across the state with his or her child, he or she could arguably have done so making it very difficult for the other parent to challenge the move. If, however, the parent wanted to move a short distance across the border to a neighboring state, he or she had to go to court first and get permission.

Distance Matters

The amended law offers a different take on the relocation issue by relying on distance as the deciding factor for when a parent needs to seek judicial permission for a move. Under updated terms of the law, if a parent is moving more than 25 miles from a location in Cook, DuPage, Kane, Lake, McHenry, or Will Counties, or more than 50 miles from any other county within the state, this is considered a relocation that requires permission from the court. If the move is more than 25 miles to a new home outside the state, the move is also considered a relocation requiring the court’s permission.

Considerations of the Court

In order to obtain the necessary permission, the parent seeking to relocate must provide notice to the other parent, and also file a notice with the clerk of the circuit court. The notice required must be given at least 60 days prior to the move, unless this is not possible, in which case the court can make an accommodation. If the parent receiving notice does not wish to contest the move, he or she may sign the provided notice, and it is then filed with the clerk. However, if the parent chooses to contest the move, then the relocating parent must file a petition asking the court to make the ultimate decision on whether or not the move is in the best interest of the child, and should therefore proceed despite the other parent’s objection.

Contact an Experienced Family Law Attorney

If you are going through a divorce or want to work out a parenting agreement with the other parent, you need an experienced family law attorney to guide you through the process and the recent changes to Illinois law that may affect your case. Contact our dedicated and experienced DuPage County family law lawyers at our law firm today for a consultation on your case and to learn how we can be of assistance.

 

Source:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?DocName=075000050HPt.+VI&ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=8350000&SeqEnd=10200000

Three Tips For Effective Co-Parenting after a Divorce

Illinois divorce attorney, Illinois family lawyer, Illinois child custody attorney,After a divorce, even one that went smoothly, there can be a lot of anger, resentment, and sadness. But, when there are children involved, it is vital that both parents find a way to work together to be the best parents to those children. They are having their own difficulties adjusting to the divorce. Here are three tips for effectively co-parenting after a divorce.

Understand You Have Still a Relationship with Your Ex-Spouse

The divorce may have ended the marriage, but you and your ex are still in a relationship. You are co-parents to your children. That means you have to communicate and work together for the best interests of your children. This can be hard enough when parents have a strong marriage, but when a couple has been divorced it can be extra challenging.

Give your ex-spouse the benefit of the doubt, just as you would give a friend. Try to be courteous and respectful. Most importantly never talk bad about them to anyone, especially in front of your children.

Let Go of Trying to Control Every Choice

No matter if you have the children most of the time, or you only see them every other weekend, you have to adjust to not being involved in every decision. You do not have to agree with every choice the other parent makes, but realize that most differences are not a big deal.

Always assume that the other parent is doing their best. Your child will not be ruined if they get more sweets at one parent’s or have a later bedtime on weekends than you would like. You both love your child and that is what is most important.

Listen First, Think Second, and React Third

If your children are telling you something that bothers you, or your ex-spouse is ranting about something you have done, you have to stop and listen to what is being said.

Before you react to anything, you have to make sure you understand everything that is being said. Often, just being listened to will diffuse many situations.

After you have listened, think about what you have heard and what it means. Think about how what you say may be interpreted. Plan out your response before you open your mouth. Do not be afraid to say to the other person that you are thinking about what you heard before you respond.

When you respond, make sure you are being respectful. No matter how you were approached, getting upset never makes any situation better.

If you have any questions about divorce, custody, support, or any other family law issues, contact a dedicated and experienced DuPage County family law attorney. Call Andrew Cores Family Law Group today at 630-871-1002 to schedule a consultation.

Source:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs4.asp?ActID=2086&ChapterID=59&SeqStart=8300000&SeqEnd=10000000