Tag Archives: DuPage County divorce lawyers

Preparation Is the Key to a Smoother Divorce

divorce, Wheaton divorce attorneysThe process of divorce is unlike other many legal matters in that it is deeply personal. A person may spend years or even decades deciding if they should file for divorce or not. Couples may try marriage counseling, trial separations, or endure hours of uncomfortable conversations before reaching the decision to divorce. With all of this emotional turmoil and stress, some individuals seeking a divorce may jump into it without properly preparing. However, taking time to ready yourself and formulate a plan before starting the process can save a great deal of unnecessary stress. There is no way to ensure that your divorce will go perfectly with no difficulties at all, but there are some things you can do to prepare for the divorce process.

Prepare Yourself Financially

Most people who divorce experience a dramatic change in their financial status. They may be forced to live on less income than they previously did, or they may now be responsible for spousal support or child support payments. Furthermore, in many marriages, one of the spouses was in charge of the household finances more so than the other. This means that many individuals who get divorced will need to learn to pay bills, make financial decisions, create a budget, pay taxes or face other unfamiliar territory. Do not be afraid to seek assistance with these challenges. Some people, especially those with complicated financial situations, choose to meet with a financial adviser in addition to an attorney when filing for divorce.

Prepare Yourself Emotionally

There is no way around it. Divorcing a spouse who you hoped to spend the rest of your life with can be devastating. Even if the marriage has been struggling for years and the split was expected, it is still painful. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family, or consider seeing a therapist. Allow yourself to grieve the end of the marriage. Accept your emotions as they come and never be afraid to ask for help managing them. Some who get divorced find comfort in a divorce support group or in getting involved in other social gatherings. Although the process can be painful, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

We Are Ready To Help

Our experienced Wheaton family law attorneys are knowledge and compassionate, and will help you reach your goals and fight for your rights during a divorce. Contact the Andrew Cores Family Law Group to discuss your situation today. Call 630-871-1002 for a free consultation at any of our three convenient office locations.

 

Sources:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201608/4-expert-tips-emotionally-preparing-divorce

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/personalfinance/lifestages/2012/10/08/financial-tips-divorce/1584063/

Is Your Spouse a Narcissist?

narcissist, Wheaton divorce attorneyDoes your spouse often attempt to control or manipulate you in a malicious way? Does he or she dismiss your feelings as unimportant or nonsensical? Do you ever feel like you are losing your sense of self and only living to please your demanding and unreasonable spouse? If you, you may be married to a narcissist.

The term narcissist technically refers to those with a mental illness called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) but is often also used to describe those individuals who have some of the characteristics of a person with NPD. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders defines the criteria for an NPD diagnosis. Individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorders often exhibit behaviors such as:

  • Having an Exaggerated Sense of Self-Importance: Narcissists are often very full of themselves. They believe that their accomplishments are more important than those of others and that they are superior to those around them. They have grandiose perceptions of themselves and do not appreciate when others do not share these perceptions. This often manifests into behavior like making every conversation about himself or herself, or craving to be the center of attention at all times. Narcissists may also indulge in unrealistic fantasies of success, fame, power, or wealth.
  • Needing Constant Admiration and Approval: Those with narcissist tendencies often believe that they are better than those around them but, paradoxically, also crave the attention and approval of other people. A narcissist has a very difficult time accepting criticism and can even become enraged by it. He or she will often tout his or her accomplishments (either real or imagined) and become offended if those around him or her do not respond how he or she wanted.
  • Having a Strong Sense of Entitlement: Someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder will demand favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations regardless of how unreasonable they are. Narcissists believe that they are entitled to special treatment or privileges even if they did not earn them.
  • Manipulating Others to Get What They Want: Narcissists are unapologetically exploitative of others and will take advantage of others to get their way. This can unfortunately lead to emotional or physical abuse. They tend to lack empathy and do not feel regret for manipulative or cruel behavior.

Although being married to a narcissist is challenging, it does not automatically mean that the marriage will not last. That being said, many marriages involving a narcissist are not healthy, especially if narcissistic behavior goes unchecked.

Divorcing a narcissist can be particularly challenging, but an experienced DuPage County divorce attorney can help prevent your spouse from manipulating the proceedings. Call 630-871-1002 for a free consultation today.

 

Sources:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/divorced-moms/signs-you-married-a-narcissist_b_9132548.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stop-caretaking-the-borderline-or-narcissist/201306/are-you-married-narcissist

Marriage and Divorce Equality

divorce equality, Wheaton divorce attorneysProponents of marriage equality see the right to marry as fundamental to human dignity. However, very few advocates tend to think about the things that go along with marriage— namely, divorce. While in Illinois, same-sex couples have been permitted to marry and divorce in the same manner as opposite-sex couples for a number of years, the law was much slower to change in other states. While same-sex marriage was legalized nationwide in the summer of 2015, it can sometimes be an enormous hassle for same-sex couples to obtain a divorce, especially if there are children involved.

Is Divorce Possible?

All 50 states now recognize the legality of same-sex marriage, which means there must be a legal process for dissolving such marriages. The reality, however, is that many states have yet to update their divorce-related statutes to include gender-neutral language. Therefore, if you live in Illinois or were married in Illinois, it may be best to obtain your divorce in Illinois as well, even if you or your spouse now lives in another state.

The Process

The process of divorce is virtually the same for same-sex couples as it is for opposite-sex couples. However, there are some potential wrinkles in the questions that often accompany divorce, such as property settlement and parental responsibilities.

Property settlement for a same-sex couple can be somewhat difficult when the two people have lived together for a long time prior to their legal marriage. It gets more difficult to divide assets if two people have been in a committed relationship for years—normally, property is divided into marital and non-marital assets. However, if a same-sex couple has been living together for years—many of those during which they could not marry—identifying marital and non-marital property may be much more difficult. In most cases, only property acquired on or after the date of legal marriage may be considered marital property, even if the same-sex couple has been together for decades.

The allocation of parental responsibilities—formerly called child custody—can also create pitfalls, especially between two women. If one partner is the biological mother of a child, she may be granted more rights than the non-biological mother, despite both partners likely having had an equal relationship with the child. If one partner in a same-sex marriage has not formally adopted the couple’s children, he or she may be legally barred from exercising parental rights. All of these issues can be difficult and painful for the people involved.

Helpful and Compassionate Professionals Are Available

If you are going through a divorce, you have enough issues on your plate without worrying about potential complications due to gender or sexual orientation. Contact an experienced Wheaton divorce attorney to discuss your case. Call 630-871-1002 for a free consultation today.

 

Sources:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-illinois-supreme-court-domestic-partners-property-ruling-met-20160819-story.html

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs5.asp?ActID=2086&ChapterID=59