After your marriage has ended, you will likely be ready to move on and begin again, and this may mean starting a new romantic relationship. However, you may not want to rush into introducing a new partner to your family after your divorce. Depending on your situation, your children might not have an easy time adjusting to this new person being in their lives. Before you make the decision to introduce your new partner to your family, consider the following:
Factors That Determine How Your Children Will React to a New Partner
Before you discuss your new relationship with your kids, you may want to think about the following so that you know what to expect:
The Ages of Your Children—Depending on a child’s age, he/she may react differently to a new partner. For instance, young children could connect with a new partner a lot easier than a teenager could, because the teenager might be fully aware of the difficulties that resulted in the divorce in the first place, leading them to harbor resentment and hold a preemptive grudge against the new partner. However, young children may also quickly become attached to the new partner, and if the relationship ends prematurely, they may be heartbroken.
The Personalities of Your Children—All children are different. Their personalities often dictate how they will react to a new relationship. For example, if your child is particularly sensitive, a new partner might disturb them greatly, especially if you have not been divorced for very long. You might want to give your kids some time to adjust before introducing any additional changes to their lives.
The Status of the Divorce—If your ex-spouse is not highly involved in your children’s lives due to the decisions made about child custody in your divorce, you may want to speak with your new partner whether he/she is interested in taking on a parental role with you. If your new partner is not interested in this role, then you may want to consider keeping your family life and romantic life separate to avoid burdening your new partner with unrealistic expectations.
The Seriousness of Your New Relationship—You need to know for sure that the partner you are introducing to your children is one whom you intend to have a long-term, serious relationship with. Yet again, you want to minimize changes in your child’s life. If the new relationship ends shortly after you introduce your partner to the family, your children could feel betrayed or otherwise confused and uncertain as a result of the changes. You will want to maintain stability in your child’s life to ensure that they can move forward following your divorce.
Contact a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer
Introducing your new partner to your family does not have to create conflict. If you are thoughtful about the timing and the ways that you introduce them to your children, you will be able to minimize the possibility of negative reactions and ensure that everyone can coexist happily. If you have questions about the legal issues that need to be addressed during or after your divorce, call a Wheaton, IL family law attorney at 630-871-1002. The team at Andrew Cores Family Law Group will give you a free consultation to help you face any legal challenges that may arise.
There are plenty of legal challenges involved in getting a divorce while pregnant. However, those complications are not the only reasons to give careful thought to whether you want to end your marriage. You are likely to face a variety of emotional and psychological concerns, and you will want to weigh your options to determine the best choice for you and your family. Here is a closer look at some of the reasons you may choose to postpone or cancel divorce if you are pregnant:
Reasons Not to Divorce While Pregnant
While there are a wide variety of reasons you may believe that your marriage is beyond repair, it is often best to avoid hasty decisions, especially when you are about to experience a life-changing event upon the birth of your child. Here are some of the more significant and prevalent examples of why you should think long and hard before beginning the divorce process while you are pregnant:
Do Not Rush Into Anything—You might be overwhelmed and stressed because of your pregnancy, and perhaps your marital troubles did not begin until after you became pregnant. Pregnancy can alter your perception of things in ways that are much more ephemeral than you might realize. In that sense, you should not make any rash decisions while pregnant, especially if there is even the slightest possibility that you will regret them in the future.
Do Not Go it Alone—Your divorce will end your partnership with your spouse. This means that a once-critical and central component of your support system will not be there for you during your pregnancy. Having a child can be difficult enough even with a partner; going it alone will be even more challenging. Ending your marriage can cause you to miss out on emotional support and maybe even some financial support as well.
One Too Many Major Life Events—Both divorce and the birth of a child are two of the most important major life events you may experience. By pursuing both of them in such quick succession, you run the risk of getting even more overwhelmed and stressed out than you already are.
The Miracle of Life Might Save Your Marriage—It might seem like a cliché, but if there is still a chance that you and your spouse might be able to resolve your differences, the birth of your child could bring you back together and help you build a stronger marriage.
Complicated Divorce Modifications and Child Custody Modifications—If you complete your divorce before your child is born, you may need to have a long and protracted set of discussions after the birth to redefine your child custody agreements and other terms of your divorce. This is another stressor you do not need, especially when you will be caring for a newborn.
Contact a Wheaton, IL Divorce Lawyer
Getting a divorce while pregnant is an important decision that should not be made without careful and thoughtful deliberation. As you give in-depth thought to getting a divorce while being pregnant, you should discuss your options with a knowledgeable DuPage County child custody attorney who can help guide you toward the right decision for you and your family. Call 630-871-1002 for a free consultation with the skilled team at Andrew Cores Family Law Group.
A divorce often results in a host of financial challenges. This is especially true when it comes to gray divorces. If you are getting a divorce while over the age of 50 or after retirement, you may experience significant difficulties due to the need to live on a fixed income with very little opportunity for income growth. However, there are some things you can do to live comfortably enough after your divorce, despite major changes to your finances.
What Should I Do if My Divorce Settlement Is Not Enough?
In many cases, a divorce settlement might not be enough to allow you to meet your living expenses after the divorce, or the resulting financial issues may not allow you to truly enjoy your retirement. In times like these, you might want to consider the following ways to increase your income:
Increase your Social Security benefit—What you may not realize after divorce is that your Social Security benefits do not have to only be based on your own earnings record. If your ex-spouse has a much higher earnings record than you do, then you can increase your monthly Social Security benefits. As a divorcee, you can receive up to half of your ex-spouse’s monthly Social Security benefit. This means that even if you were a lifelong stay-at-home parent without a qualifying earnings record for Social Security benefits, you could still receive benefits based on your ex-spouse’s benefit. Even if you did have an earnings record, if half of your ex-spouse’s benefit amount is higher than your own benefit, Social Security will make up the difference and increase your total Social Security benefit.
Get back in the workforce—Although it is difficult to envision working at the ages of 60, 70, or older, it is increasingly common for gray divorcees to find a part-time job to supplement their income. However, there are a few things to keep in mind before working during retirement:
If you start working any job after your full retirement age (age 66 for those born between 1943 and 1954 or age 67 for those born after 1960), you have no income limits that would impact your Social Security benefit.
If you start receiving Social Security benefits before your full retirement age, then your monthly income limit is $1,520. If you earn more than that amount in a month, your Social Security benefit amount will be reduced by $1 for every $2 you earn above the income limit.
Invest—When dividing investment and retirement accounts during the divorce process, be sure to use a QDRO, or qualified domestic relations order. This will ensure that any funds distributed to you will be placed in your own investment or retirement account. You can then seek the help of a financial advisor to see how you can invest what is left from the divorce in a way that will optimize your gains and reduce your risks as you enter retirement. With the proper investments, you might be able to ride stock market gains into a very comfortable retirement.
Contact a Wheaton IL Gray Divorce Attorney
If you are getting a gray divorce, remember that a “fixed income” is not the same as “no income.” You can figure out ways to live comfortably even if you do not have the financial resources that you did while married or before your retirement. If you need help with a complex divorce, including dividing investments and retirement accounts, reach out to a DuPage County divorce lawyer at 630-871-1002 for a free consultation. Andrew Cores Family Law Group will comprehensively review your situation with care and make sure you make the best decisions as you approach retirement after your divorce.