Posted on in Divorce

DuPage County divorce lawyerThe decision to get divorced often comes about after a long period of strife or unhappiness in a marriage. Many couples struggle with the decision for some time before finally contacting an attorney to start the process. If you have been thinking about divorce for a while but are unsure if it is the right move, there are a number of questions that you should consider.

Have You Done Everything You Can to Fix the Relationship?

The first important consideration is whether or not all reasonable steps have been taken to save the marriage. What constitutes “reasonable steps” is different for different people, but it could include couples therapy, individual counseling, or marriage retreats—not to mention in-depth discussions between you and your spouse. There are also many self-help books that might help address the problems you and your partner may be dealing with on a daily basis.

Are You Prepared for the Emotional Strain?

Before filing for a divorce, you will also need to be ready to deal with the myriad emotions that come with ending a marriage. Even if you are the one who wants the divorce, you will probably need to go through a grieving process over the “death” of the marriage. Divorce can also leave you struggling with feelings of anger and guilt. On the other hand, there may be feelings of relief that the turmoil of the marriage has ended. Individual therapy can also help you work through these feelings

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Posted on in Divorce

DuPage County gray divorce lawyerAlthough the divorce rate in the United States is slowly declining, there is one demographic that has seen a significant increase in divorces in recent decades: Americans over age 50. In fact, data shows that one in four adults currently going through a divorce is aged 50 or above. These so-called “gray divorces” can be substantially more complex than divorces involving younger individuals. When older adults get divorced, there are special concerns that they must consider.

Spousal Maintenance Is Often Ordered After a Long Marriage

Many divorce cases do not involve any type of alimony or spousal maintenance. Generally, alimony is only granted when a divorce causes one of the spouses to be at a significant financial disadvantage. For example, a stay-at-home mother who sacrificed a career to care for her children will likely have a much lower earning capacity than her husband who remained in the workforce during the marriage. Illinois courts make spousal maintenance decisions based on factors such as:

  • The standard of living established during the marriage

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Wheaton IL divorce attorneyThere is little question that a divorce can be a difficult and taxing experience. It can be especially tough when one or both spouses refuse to communicate or only communicate in ways that add to the tension of the split. When couples already had communication problems long before the separation, the potential for a breakdown in overall communication or a discussion that turns toxic may be even greater during the divorce process. 

Common Communication Issues in the Divorce Process

Psychology experts indicate there are specific behaviors that many people exhibit while interacting with their spouse during the divorce that are often responsible for unproductive—and sometimes hostile—communication. These problematic communication patterns can quickly sabotage even the simplest of discussions, making the divorce process that much harder for both parties.

If you want to see better results when talking to your former spouse throughout the divorce, experts suggest practicing the following tips:

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Posted on in Divorce

DuPage County divorce mediation lawyerWhen you choose to pursue a divorce, your biggest fear may be that the process will become a destructive fight that harms you, your ex, and your children. It is true that some divorces are contentious, and almost all divorces are stressful, but many of them can proceed amicably. 

If you are able to cooperate with your spouse throughout the divorce process, you can often avoid a trial and reach an efficient resolution that satisfies both sides. If you are hoping for an amicable divorce, you should make sure to approach it in a way that prevents conflict from taking over.

How to Keep Your Illinois Divorce Amicable

Your chances of an amicable divorce often rest on the behaviors of both you and your spouse. Here are some things you can do to make an amicable divorce more likely:

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Posted on in Divorce

Wheaton, IL family law attorney for divorce or legal separationWhen you and your spouse have children together, you may feel pressured to stay in an unhappy marriage for their sake. Perhaps you fear that your children will be caught in the middle of a messy divorce process, or you may be worried about how their lives will change if they no longer live in a two-parent household. These are certainly valid concerns, but staying together may have negative effects on your children as well. Rather than delaying the inevitable, it may be best to consider your options for a divorce that leaves both you and your children in a better place.

How Staying Together Can Harm Your Children

You may have good intentions for attempting to stay together, but this can be harmful for your children in ways that you may not expect. For example, if you and your spouse are frequently angry with each other and engaging in destructive conflict, you may be modeling an unhealthy relationship in a way that affects how your children approach their own relationships. This is especially true if there is physical or emotional abuse in your household, not to mention the fact that your children may be at risk of physical or mental harm. If you are preoccupied with conflict in your marriage, you may also be unable to devote the time, energy, and attention to your children that they need.

Alternatives That Can Help Your Children

If your marriage is struggling, there are often more productive options than simply trying to ignore or cope with the problems. Some alternatives that can help both you and your children include:

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