While most people feel some sense of sadness after divorce, others experience a profound sense of regret - not because they got divorced, but because of choices they made during the divorce. Divorce is one of the most difficult experiences a person can go through, and it understandably makes even the most patient and rational person have moments of unreasonableness. But while it can be tempting, and perhaps even justified, letting your anger or emotions get the best of you during divorce is a recipe for trouble. If you are going through an Illinois divorce right now, here are four mistakes to avoid for a better divorce now and a clearer conscience in the future.
Involving Your Children in Your Fights
Parents getting divorced have to settle difficult matters together, often during the time they get along least. Creating a parenting plan that details parental responsibilities and parenting time present a major challenge, especially when couples dislike each other strongly. However, the worst thing you could do during parenting plan negotiations is getting your children involved in your arguments with your spouse. They are not responsible for the divorce and they do not have the maturity or the understanding to appreciate what is really going on. Protect your children from conflict as much as possible, and you will look back knowing you did the right thing for them.
Taking Advice From Non-Professionals
If you ask five divorced people for advice on an issue, you will get five different answers. Everybody’s divorce is different, and while having the support of friends during your divorce is essential for your wellbeing, taking legal advice from people who are not attorneys can often backfire in a big way. You can save yourself time and money when you let your friends help you work through the emotions of divorce and leave the legal aspects to a great divorce attorney.
Fighting With Your Spouse
You could argue that a divorce is one long, final fight with your spouse, but there is an important difference between participating in divorce negotiations and engaging in highly emotional interpersonal conflict. Because neither of you is likely to be on your best behavior, avoiding contact unless necessary is usually the best plan. Rehashing old differences will get you nowhere and often makes it more difficult to settle important practical issues in your divorce decree.
Not Advocating For Yourself
Some people find themselves acting passive and nonchalant during a divorce. The conflict, expense, and longevity can feel like too much to bear. Sometimes, spouses - particularly men - give up early on because they are sure they will get the short end of the stick. Because the outcome of a divorce decree is permanent, especially in regards to finances, if you do not assertively protect your own position during divorce, you may look back on your passive actions with regret for many years to come.
Speak to a Wheaton Divorce Lawyer
Planning early and carefully with an experienced DuPage County divorce attorney can save you significant time and money in the long run. At Andrew Cores Family Law Group, we believe it is better to think twice and act once - that is why we will help you create a well-planned path towards finalizing divorce that works for you and your family. Call us today to schedule a free and confidential consultation at 630-871-1002.