Divorce is labeled as one of the most difficult life experiences one can go through. Some even compare the emotions of divorce to those that come from losing a loved one to death. A scientific journal entitled Psychological Science published a study about which personality trait best enables people to successfully survive a divorce. According to the study, the trait that makes people most resilient after a divorce is referred to as “self-compassion.” Whether or not this trait comes naturally to you, there are a few ways that you can practice self-compassion when it comes to your divorce.
Taking Time to Heal
Self-compassion is exactly what it sounds like: being good to yourself. However, this does not mean materialistically treating yourself. Instead, self-compassion has more to do with your philosophy and approach toward daily life, especially after the divorce. Here are ways to build this self-compassion and allow yourself to bounce back from your divorce:
Focus on the Present — Although it may be difficult, try not to ruminate and worry about things you cannot control or change. This includes past regrets, whether they are from the past few years or simply within the last few hours. It can be just as easy to get overwhelmed by fears of the future, but right now, you should focus on present healing. Take everything day by day and do not get stuck in a vicious cycle of worry and regret.
Recognize That You Are Not Alone — Feeling sorry for yourself can lead you down a hole that is difficult to get out of. It is important to remember that countless other people have gone through a divorce and have been better because of it. If you can see that you are not alone in this, you will realize that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Other people have made it through these challenges in life, and many of them have gone on to live happier lives than before. It may help to hear about other’s experiences to see what you can take away from their stories.
Be Kind to Yourself — There is more to this than you might expect. You should never blame yourself for your divorce or feel guilty for how things turned out. It is important to forgive yourself for anything you think might have made things more difficult for you and your family. Nobody is perfect; recognizing and accepting your mistakes will allow you to move forward with the wisdom to avoid them in the future.
Once you internalize these three approaches toward self-compassion, your future goals, routines, activities, and even major life events will sprout from them. You will not only be resilient after the divorce, but you will also be well on your way to becoming a better person.
Contact a Wheaton, IL Divorce Lawyer
Divorce does not have to be a traumatic experience for it to be transformative. Deciding to end your marriage and take hold of your future can leave individuals feeling more in control than ever before. By working with a reputable attorney, you can focus on your own healing while he or she manages the legal details. The compassionate team at Andrew Cores Family Law Group has assisted divorcing couples with their legal proceedings for over two decades, allowing them to emotionally heal in the process. Reach out to a DuPage County divorce attorney today at 630-871-1002 for a free consultation about divorce.