In many cases, the most difficult part of a divorce case is not comprised of the trips to court, splitting assets, or determining child custody. Often, these issues can be resolved relatively amicably, either through negotiation or mediation. For many people, the most difficult part about divorce is just telling your spouse that your marriage is over. You may have been having issues for quite some time and be trying to resolve them through therapy, or it could just be that on your own you feel yourself drifting away from your spouse. So how do you go about saying that you want a divorce?
Be Direct and Honest
There are several things to keep in mind when telling your spouse that you want to get divorced. The first thing to remember is that honesty is the best policy. Sit down with your spouse and tell them directly that you want to end your marriage. They may be angry or upset. If you two have been having issues for awhile, they may be somewhat understanding.
The best thing you can do is to have an honest discussion about why you have decided it is best to split up and how to proceed. You may want to bring up the topic at the beginning of a weekend when your spouse is in a relatively good mood and you have time to discuss everything about the divorce. If this discussion does not go well, you want to make sure you can stay with a family member or friend for several days after.
What If You Fear for Safety?
Oftentimes, people want to end a divorce because another spouse is abusive, either verbally or physically. This can be a dangerous situation. If you fear that your spouse will cause a scene, you may want to tell them that you want a divorce in front of a third party, such as a therapist.
Concerns about physical violence are more complicated. If you fear that your former spouse might attack you, you could inform them that you want a divorce over the phone or via text if they cannot find you. Sending a friend or family member to tell them is probably a bad idea as they could react violently toward this person as well.
You can also inform your spouse of your plans to divorce through more formal means. Your attorney can send your spouse a letter notifying them that you are filing for divorce, or you can wait until the initial divorce petition has been filed, as it will be served by a sheriff’s deputy.
Contact an Experienced Divorce Attorney
A divorce is one of the most difficult situations you will ever go through. If you are considering ending your marriage, you need an attorney on your side who knows the law as well as how to walk you through this difficult emotional time. Contact an understanding DuPage County family law attorney today for a consultation about filing for divorce in Illinois.