Divorcing a Narcissist

 Posted on April 12, 2024 in Divorce

IL divorce lawyerBeing married to a narcissist can be impossible. Narcissists are rarely capable of having a healthy marriage, as they tend to see their spouses - and everyone else - as beneath them. People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder may not be good and caring parents either. They are often so focused on protecting their images that they discount their children’s needs and preferences in an effort to project a picture of the perfect family. Divorcing a narcissist can be just as difficult as being married to one. Your divorce may be more complex than most. However, having an excellent DuPage County, IL divorce attorney on your side can make a tremendous difference in both the outcome of your case and the ease of the divorce process.

Tips for Getting Divorced When Your Spouse is a Narcissist 

In all likelihood, you did not know you were marrying a narcissist when you said, “I do.” Narcissists can be incredibly skilled at masking their true tendencies until they feel that their partner is “trapped.” Tips for divorcing a narcissist include:

  • Communicate through your lawyer - Traditional mediation and collaborative divorce are probably not for you. Either option could give your spouse the opportunity to manipulate you. If you want an uncontested divorce, consider attorney-led negotiation or mediation options that do not involve direct contact with your spouse. 
  • Prepare for contested divorce - Unfortunately, your spouse has the right to contest the divorce and force you to go through litigation. Narcissists sometimes do this, mistakenly believing that they can manipulate the judge easily and “win.” It is best to begin preparing for the possibility of contested divorce immediately. 
  • Prepare your children without coaching them - If your spouse contests your child custody issues, you can take steps to prepare your children. You can explain the role of the Guardian ad Litem who will probably come speak to them and discuss the type of questions they may need to answer. However, do not tell them how to answer the questions or instruct them on what to say. The court will strive to make a parenting plan that is in the best interests of your child after the GAL investigates. 
  • Expect manipulation - Narcissists can panic when they realize their partner is really leaving them. Know that your spouse may try to emotionally manipulate you into staying or guilt you into agreeing to unfair terms. It is usually best to refuse all communication with your spouse and direct him or her to contact your lawyer. 

Ending a marriage to a narcissist can give you a new beginning and allow you to be yourself again. A divorce lawyer can help make the process as stress-free as possible.

Contact a Wheaton, IL Divorce Lawyer 

Andrew Cores Family Law Group will work to prevent your spouse’s narcissism from impacting the outcome of your divorce. Our DuPage County, IL divorce attorneys have extensive experience with complex and high-conflict divorce cases. Contact us at 630-871-1002 for a complimentary consultation.

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