One of the biggest steps people take after getting a divorce is deciding to move back into the dating pool. People can often be apprehensive about taking this step, since they fear they are out of practice or that dating has somehow changed in the interim. While these fears are understandable, there are many strategies for overcoming them and having a full romantic life after a divorce. With that goal in mind, here are a few tips for handling a first date post-divorce.
Make Sure You Are Ready
The first thing to consider is whether you are actually ready to get back to dating. Many people start dating as soon as the ink dries on the divorce papers, or sometimes even earlier. While that can certainly be the right decision for some people, others do it reflexively, since they are not used to being single and just want to find themselves back in a relationship. It is important for each person to take a deep breath and decide for themselves how long they need to process the events of their divorce. According to the US Census Bureau the median time between divorce and remarriage is over three years, although the correct amount of time is up to each person individually.
Commit to the Process
Once a person decides they are ready to start dating again, one of the most important things to do is to put effort into the date. Many married couples get used to wearing sweatpants or wrinkled clothes, as well as going to the same restaurants continuously. Reentering the dating world means trying harder, planning fun dates, dressing to make a good impression, and maintaining good personal grooming habits.
Avoid Certain Topics of Conversation
After the date starts, it all comes down to standard etiquette. The one difference is that in a post-divorce date, people may possess longer or more serious romantic histories. While those may be important to discuss, the first date is not the time, nor the place. People should stay away from conversations about their ex-spouses, and if the other person does ask, it is appropriate to respond diplomatically. There is no reason for someone to burden a date with a complete history of their last marriage. The one exception to this rule may be if there are children from the last marriage. Some people think mentioning the children early may be a good idea, since kids can scare off potential partners, and doing it early may save time. Of course, that, like many things with dating, comes down to personal preference and what someone wants in a partner.
If you are thinking about filing for divorce or would just like more information about your options, contact a DuPage County divorce lawyer today. They have a wide variety of experience with many different family situations and can help explain your rights and what choices you have.