4 Tips for Communicating Effectively During Your Illinois Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Wheaton IL divorce attorneyThere is little question that a divorce can be a difficult and taxing experience. It can be especially tough when one or both spouses refuse to communicate or only communicate in ways that add to the tension of the split. When couples already had communication problems long before the separation, the potential for a breakdown in overall communication or a discussion that turns toxic may be even greater during the divorce process. 

Common Communication Issues in the Divorce Process

Psychology experts indicate there are specific behaviors that many people exhibit while interacting with their spouse during the divorce that are often responsible for unproductive—and sometimes hostile—communication. These problematic communication patterns can quickly sabotage even the simplest of discussions, making the divorce process that much harder for both parties.

If you want to see better results when talking to your former spouse throughout the divorce, experts suggest practicing the following tips:

  1. Be polite – There is no good reason to be impolite when conversing with someone, especially your spouse in the midst of a divorce. Emotions are already running high during this time, even under the very best of circumstances. Although you may be feeling a wide range of emotions, such as anger, resentment, and hurt, resisting the urge to be short with your former spouse can work in your favor. Simply saying “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” can go a long way in terms of how the other party receives what you have to say. 

  2. Let the other person finish speaking – Speaking being polite when conversing with your former spouse, relationship experts remind us to allow him or her to finish speaking if we want to convey that we are listening and truly care about the discussion. Even if you do not sincerely feel like being patient or attentive, allowing your ex-spouse to finish talking can save you both a lot of frustration and make him or her more likely to listen to your perspective.

  3. Show interest in your spouse’s point of view – It may be difficult to show interest in a discussion that you might not even want to have in the first place, but maintaining eye contact and using your body language to show your attentiveness is a good way to reduce any existing tension and encourage a healthier, more productive conversation at the same time.

  4. Resist the urge to cast judgment – A common, yet negative habit many people act on when going through a divorce is to cast verbal judgments on their ex-partner when having a conversation. Statements about your ex’s poor parenting skills, life choices, inability to pay the bills on time, or other failings in the midst of the divorce is a surefire way to hinder, not help, your interactions.

Contact a Wheaton Family Lawyer 

Regardless of how challenging communication is during your divorce, it is important to protect your rights as you move through the process. Consult with a knowledgeable DuPage County family law attorney to address any questions or concerns you have about protecting your best interests in a court of law. Call Andrew Cores Family Law Group today at 630-871-1002 to schedule a free, no-obligation consultation with a compassionate member of our team.

 

Sources:

https://medium.com/the-happy-spot/four-negative-communication-patterns-that-accurately-predict-divorce-95-of-the-time-5370b2dc3f36

https://www.apa.org/topics/healthy-divorce

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