Category Archives: Life after Divorce

5 Tips for Dealing with the Grieving Process After Divorce

DuPage County family law attorney divorce emotional issuesThe “five stages of grief,” which were first theorized by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, have been common knowledge for years. While many thinkers have made changes or additions to the original list of stages—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—understanding these five steps can still be a good starting point for anyone dealing with loss. Even though they originally applied to the grief resulting from a person’s death, these stages are relevant to any type of loss, including the loss you will experience when you get a divorce.

How to Address Divorce-Related Grief

With the stages of grief to guide you, here are five productive tips to help you manage the grieving process when getting divorced:

  1. Be prepared. The end of your marriage is a major life event, and as with a loved one’s death, it is a significant loss in your life. As such, it must be handled with the same degree of care and awareness as bereavement. You need to be prepared for many of those usual grieving stages. Most importantly, you need to know that it will take time for your world to settle into some semblance of stability again. If you are not mentally prepared, you could find yourself suffering through the grieving process much longer than necessary.

  2. Embrace change. Once you have ended your relationship with your spouse, just about everything in your life will change. Rather than ignoring the fact that you are divorced, revolting against the divorce and your ex-spouse in anger, making desperate decisions to attempt to get things back to the way they were, sulking in sadness, or acting in other unhealthy ways, you need to be open to the possibilities that this major life change presents. Once you fully accept the divorce, the odds are that the changes resulting from the divorce will improve your life vastly. You will want to do your best to welcome these changes rather than working against them.

  3. Seek guidance from experts. When you first file for divorce, you need the right lawyer. However, the help of skilled experts does not end there. If you are struggling with your emotions after the divorce, you may need to find a psychologist, counselor, therapist, or other mental health professional who can give you the freedom to discuss all of your feelings and concerns. Their impartial and enlightened perspective could give you the push you need toward acceptance.

  4. Be good to yourself. Eat well. Exercise. Get enough restful sleep. Stay healthy. Go to doctor appointments. Do not let those heavy stages of grief weigh you down so much that you make life even harder for yourself by picking up bad habits or indulging yourself too much in activities that tear you down rather than building you up.

  5. Make sure you have a support system. Friends and family can be a tremendous help during difficult times. Depending on the circumstances surrounding the divorce, friends might have divided themselves up, siding with you or your spouse. However, you need to make sure you have some friends whose dedication to you is unwavering, ensuring that you will have the emotional support you need to get through this challenging time. Stay close with your family for those same reasons.

Of course, this list is not exhaustive; there are plenty of additional ways to cope as you adjust to life without your spouse. The most important thing is to figure out what works best for you and what will most successfully pull you through the process toward a healthy sense of true acceptance of your new reality.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

The ramifications of divorce are innumerable, and it will change your life in many ways. As you go through the divorce process, the emotional toll can be taxing. If you are prepared for the consequences of getting a divorce, including the possibility of a long and difficult grieving process, you should contact our Wheaton divorce attorneys at 630-871-1002 for a free consultation. The knowledgeable team at Andrew Cores Family Law Group will help you address the legal aspects of your divorce, allowing you to focus on managing the emotional aftermath and moving on with your life.


How Can a Child Support Order Be Modified in Illinois?

DuPage County child support modification attorneyAfter you have gone through a divorce and are paying or receiving child support, there may come a time when you believe the amount you pay or the child receives should be adjusted. In Illinois, this may be done through a modification review process.

When Can I Have My Child Support Order Modified?

Under Illinois family law, an order for child support is eligible for modification review every three years, or when there is a significant change in either parent’s income or in the needs of the child. In the case of a three-year review, a parent will receive a letter from the agency in charge, informing them of the right to request a review.

Who Conducts the Modification Review?

Modification reviews of child support orders in Illinois are done by the Illinois Department of Healthcare and Family Services (HFS), Division of Child Support Services (DCSS). The agency is tasked with the responsibility to make sure child support orders are consistent with applicable Illinois law and changed circumstances involving all concerned.

What Are the Requirements for Child Support Modification Review?

To qualify for a modification, one of the following conditions must be met:

  • At least three years must have passed since the date child support order was issued or since the date of the decision from the last modification review.

  • There is a substantial change in the non-custodial parent’s income.

  • There is nothing in the order that addresses the child’s healthcare coverage.

  • There is a written communication received by DCSS from the custodial parent, the non-custodial parent, or an agency in another state requesting a review.

If you have requested the modification review, both you and your ex-spouse will receive a letter from DCSS stating whether the order qualifies for modification review or not. You should expect this letter in 30 days or less from when DCSS receives your request. If the order qualifies for a modification, both you and your ex-spouse will be asked to provide information to be evaluated in determining whether your request should be granted.

What Happens After a Child Support Modification Review?

DCSS will analyze the information you and your ex-spouse provide to recalculate the amount of child support your child should receive. The results of the analysis will be sent to you by mail. This notice may state that the amount of child support payments will increase, decrease, or remain unchanged. If you disagree with the decision, the law allows you various ways you can have this decision itself reviewed.

Contact a DuPage County Child Support Lawyer

Requesting and obtaining a child support modification can be a complicated process, especially when there are other issues that cannot be resolved by DCSS. To ensure that the decisions made will meet your family’s needs while protecting your financial resources, you should work with an attorney who is experienced in family law and understands how the child support modification review process works. If you believe there are good reasons why child support ordered in your case should be modified, our knowledgeable Wheaton, IL family law attorneys are ready to help you get the modifications you need. To schedule a free consultation, call 630-871-1002 today.



How Do Mothers’ Rights Impact an Illinois Divorce?

Wheaton divorce attorneyIn recent years, a lot of emphasis has been placed on fathers’ rights during and after a divorce. This is partly due to a trend in which many dads have taken more active roles in parenting compared to fathers in previous generations. In divorces that took place in the past, mothers were typically awarded what was called “sole custody” of the children, as well as alimony, child support, the marital home, and other assets. However, things often turn out differently in today’s divorces, since many mothers and fathers share in earning household income and raising children.

In modern divorce cases, mothers’ rights regarding child custody should not be automatically assumed like they often were in the past. During divorce, both parents should be sure to understand their rights and the ways they can reach a favorable outcome.

Protecting the Best Interests of the Child

In Illinois, the court is instructed to consider what is in the best interests of the child when it comes to the “allocation of parental responsibilities” (formerly known as child custody) and “parenting time” (formerly known as visitation). According to Illinois law, if married parents reside in the state, then a family court will decide on these matters as a part of their divorce proceedings. For an unmarried couple, paternity must be established before a court can address matters of parental responsibility and parenting time.

Many factors play a part in deciding parental rights. While the court will not necessarily address which parent is “better” or “worse,” it will consider how the decisions made will affect the child’s well-being. Some of these factors a judge will consider when determining what is in a child’s best interests include:

  • The wishes of the child’s parents regarding who will have parental responsibilities

  • The wishes of the child

  • The child’s relationship with parents, siblings, and other relatives

  • The child’s adjustment to their home, school, and community

  • The mental and physical health of all family members who are involved in the child’s life

  • The occurrence or threat of physical violence against the child by either parent

  • Any domestic abuse against the child or others in the household

  • The willingness of each parent to promote a continuing relationship between the child and the other parent

  • Whether either parent is a sex offender

Mothers play pivotal roles in the nurturing and development of their children. Therefore, they should have equal rights and a say in the outcome of a divorce, especially when it comes to future parenting.

Contact a Wheaton Family Law Attorney

There are many aspects to consider during a divorce, and decisions about parenting time and the allocation of parental responsibilities are often some of the most important issues to resolve. If you are a mother who is concerned about your rights as a divorcee, the compassionate legal team at Andrew Cores Family Law Group will explain your rights and work with you to reach a positive outcome to your case. Call a compassionate DuPage County divorce lawyer at 630-871-1002 to schedule a free consultation.