Tag Archives: divorce tips

3 Tips for Helping Children Get Used to Your New Partner After Divorce

Wheaton divorce attorney parents childrenIt is difficult enough for your child to deal with his or her parents’ divorce, but adjusting to your new romantic partner can add additional stress. This can complicate things further and make the post-divorce transition more challenging for everyone involved. In these cases, it is a good idea to make plans for how you will help your children get acclimated to your new significant other. By keeping your children’s best interests in mind, you can help them accept your new partner and ensure that your family is prepared for success in the years to come.

Ways to Help Your Children Get Comfortable With Your New Partner

Your new partner will likely want to be a part of your kids’ lives and help you out with parenting duties where they can. You can help ease them into this new role in the following ways:

  1. Choose the right place for introductions—For initial meetings between you, your children, and your new romantic partner, none of you should be given preference in terms of the environment. If your children will be visiting your partner’s house, they will likely be anxious, and they may not respond well to the introduction. If they are at your house, they might want to gravitate toward the comforts of home, ignoring your new partner. If you choose a neutral place, this could help cultivate togetherness and empathy, the kind that builds stronger relationships.

  2. Pick the right activities—Whether you are spending time at home with your children, participating in activities in your community, or taking trips together, you will want to consider everyone’s interests and preferences. If your children feel like the activities you choose are geared toward you and/or your new partner, they may only participate begrudgingly rather than building the experiences and memories you want when first starting your new family dynamic. It might be a good idea to let children choose activities and find things that you know everyone can enjoy.

  3. Do not be too demonstrative around your new partner—It is often best if you and your new partner avoid showing too many overt displays of affection around your children, especially early in the relationship. Your kids might still be getting over the divorce, and seeing you show affection toward a different partner might make it more difficult for them to accept the new relationship. Keep things simple and platonic at first, and as the relationship between you, your new partner, and your children grows, it will be easier for them to be comfortable with you showing signs of love to that person.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

Integrating your new partner into your family life can be a thorny issue, and you should give careful deliberation to the decisions you make during this time. By considering your children’s best interests, you can help them accept your divorce and your family’s new situation. If you need help addressing divorce-related issues, contact our Wheaton, IL family law attorneys at 630-871-1002 for a free consultation. The compassionate team at Andrew Cores Family Law Group will help you move forward with your life.

Sources:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jul/28/how-to-introduce-your-children-to-a-new-partner

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/introducing-children-to-new-partner_uk_5e4e616ac5b6a7bfb4c15c5d

https://www.familyeducation.com/life/dating-after-divorce/involving-your-children-your-new-relationship

 

Tips for Telling Your Child You Are Getting a Divorce

Wheaton divorce lawyer for child issuesIf your marriage has broken down, you may be considering divorce, although this decision can be a difficult one if you and your spouse have children together. While you may feel that it would be better to stay together for the sake of the children, this may ultimately not be in their best interests, since being exposed to conflict between parents can cause a great deal of stress for children. If you do decide to pursue a divorce, you will want to ensure that your children understand how their lives will change while assuring them that they will have your love and support moving forward.

Things to Remember When Talking to Children About Divorce

Telling your children that you and your spouse will be getting a divorce could result in a variety of strong emotions, including sadness, confusion, and anxiety. One of the very first reactions a son or daughter will have is the belief that he or she is responsible for the breakdown of the marriage. By assuring children that they were not at fault for the divorce in any way and explaining the situation in a way they can understand, you can help relieve a great deal of stress and anxiety. When discussing divorce with your children, it is important to:

  • Keep the conversation appropriate.

  • Avoid any inconsistent messages from you or your spouse.

  • Refrain from placing blame on the other spouse.

  • Avoid sharing any inappropriate information with your child.

  • Expect mixed emotions from the child.

  • Be available for your child, answer questions, and provide support.

While these guidelines can apply to almost any scenario, the ways in which you discuss your divorce will likely change based on the number of children and their ages. For example, if you have a teenager and a young child, it might be best to talk to each child separately so the situation can be discussed in an age-appropriate manner. However, if children are closer to the same age, it may be better to discuss the divorce with them at the same time.

 

The emotions you display while sharing this information with your child could have a direct result on their reaction. This is a conversation that will resonate with the child for the remainder of their lives. For example, if you are very frustrated and angry when telling your son or daughter about your divorce, your child will be more likely to mimic your behavior. Trying to remain calm and providing reassurance that you will continue to be a loving presence in their lives can help them address the difficult emotions they will be likely to experience.

 

When children learn that their parents are getting a divorce, they may feel alone, or they may struggle with anxiety or depression. It can be beneficial for children to speak to a counselor, and this will provide them with an open outlet where they can express their feelings and receive help from an outside party. It is also important to remember that before, during, and after your divorce, you should continue acting as a parent rather than relying on children for emotional support. You may also want to consider seeing a therapist to work through the emotional difficulties you are experiencing during your divorce.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

If you have chosen to end your marriage, discussing your divorce with your children can be one of the most difficult aspects of the process. While every divorce is different, seeking the advice of an experienced attorney can help you determine the best course of action to take, and by addressing child custody issues, you can ensure that you will be able to meet your children’s needs after your divorce is complete. At the Andrew Cores Family Law Group, we can work with you to reach a divorce settlement that meets your family’s needs. Contact a Wheaton, IL divorce attorney at 630-871-1002 for a free initial consultation.

Sources:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/telling-children-about-divorce_b_3351936

https://www.parents.com/parenting/divorce/children/how-to-tell-your-kids-that-you-are-getting-a-divorce/

 

How Can I Protect My Credit Score During My Illinois Divorce?

Wheaton divorce attorney for debt issuesGoing through a divorce can be stressful, and it can have a significant emotional and financial toll on your life. You may not necessarily consider how ending your marriage can affect your credit score until you see the effects of a decrease when applying for a loan or credit card.

Your credit score refers to a number that is based on an analysis of your credit information, and this number represents your creditworthiness. That is, your credit score reflects the probability that you will repay a debt or loan, such as a mortgage. According to FICO, which calculates credit scores in the United States, the amount of debt you have makes up 30 percent of your credit score. Therefore, the lower your debt, the higher your credit score. Protecting your credit during your divorce is essential for maintaining a secure financial future.

Tips For Protecting Your Credit

During your divorce, it is important to consider all the ways your finances may be affected. For example, if a joint account from your marriage is left open, your ex-spouse may miss a payment, default on the loan, or add to the balance owed. If both of your names are still on the account, you will be held responsible for the debt, even if you did not use this credit card or bank account.

If you are unable to pay a credit card balance in full, you should pay the minimum amount required, and make sure to do so on time. Try to avoid maxing out your credit cards, as that will put an additional burden on you to pay them off.

In some cases, people who are in the midst of divorce may want to spend money in an attempt to cheer themselves up, or it may be necessary to purchase new items such as furniture for a new home. Even though you might feel like treating yourself, you should rethink the temptation to splurge. You will not want to incur a large amount of debt that you may not be able to afford on one income.

Here are some other helpful tips for safeguarding your credit score during your divorce:

  • Close any joint bank or credit card accounts.

  • Refinance your mortgage or sell your home and divide the proceeds.

  • Keep paying bills on time.

  • Notify creditors/lenders about the divorce.

  • Get monthly statements on any outstanding accounts.

  • Avoid extravagant spending.

  • Use credit cards wisely.

  • Check your credit report regularly.

  • Place a “freeze” on your credit.

If your ex-spouse was ordered to pay certain joint debts in the divorce agreement, and he or she did not meet those obligations, you may want to pay those debts yourself in order to maintain a good credit rating. If necessary, you can go back to court to secure a judgment against your ex for not following the court’s orders.

Contact a Wheaton, IL Divorce Lawyer

Divorce can significantly impact your financial status. Whether it is due to losing the other spouse’s income or having to pay the expenses involved in moving to a new home, you may rack up a lot of debt. The Andrew Cores Family Law Group has handled many types of divorces, including high-asset or complex cases. If you are concerned about how your divorce will affect your credit score, our tenacious DuPage County divorce attorneys will work with you to determine the best way to keep your credit score intact. To schedule a free consultation, call our office at 630-871-1002 today.

Sources:

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/ilcs/ilcs5.asp?ActID=2086&ChapterID=59

https://www.aarp.org/money/credit-loans-debt/info-12-2012/protect-your-credit-in-divorce.html

http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/FICO-score.html