Tag Archives: family law

3 Tips for Helping Children Get Used to Your New Partner After Divorce

Wheaton divorce attorney parents childrenIt is difficult enough for your child to deal with his or her parents’ divorce, but adjusting to your new romantic partner can add additional stress. This can complicate things further and make the post-divorce transition more challenging for everyone involved. In these cases, it is a good idea to make plans for how you will help your children get acclimated to your new significant other. By keeping your children’s best interests in mind, you can help them accept your new partner and ensure that your family is prepared for success in the years to come.

Ways to Help Your Children Get Comfortable With Your New Partner

Your new partner will likely want to be a part of your kids’ lives and help you out with parenting duties where they can. You can help ease them into this new role in the following ways:

  1. Choose the right place for introductions—For initial meetings between you, your children, and your new romantic partner, none of you should be given preference in terms of the environment. If your children will be visiting your partner’s house, they will likely be anxious, and they may not respond well to the introduction. If they are at your house, they might want to gravitate toward the comforts of home, ignoring your new partner. If you choose a neutral place, this could help cultivate togetherness and empathy, the kind that builds stronger relationships.

  2. Pick the right activities—Whether you are spending time at home with your children, participating in activities in your community, or taking trips together, you will want to consider everyone’s interests and preferences. If your children feel like the activities you choose are geared toward you and/or your new partner, they may only participate begrudgingly rather than building the experiences and memories you want when first starting your new family dynamic. It might be a good idea to let children choose activities and find things that you know everyone can enjoy.

  3. Do not be too demonstrative around your new partner—It is often best if you and your new partner avoid showing too many overt displays of affection around your children, especially early in the relationship. Your kids might still be getting over the divorce, and seeing you show affection toward a different partner might make it more difficult for them to accept the new relationship. Keep things simple and platonic at first, and as the relationship between you, your new partner, and your children grows, it will be easier for them to be comfortable with you showing signs of love to that person.

Contact a DuPage County Divorce Lawyer

Integrating your new partner into your family life can be a thorny issue, and you should give careful deliberation to the decisions you make during this time. By considering your children’s best interests, you can help them accept your divorce and your family’s new situation. If you need help addressing divorce-related issues, contact our Wheaton, IL family law attorneys at 630-871-1002 for a free consultation. The compassionate team at Andrew Cores Family Law Group will help you move forward with your life.

Sources:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jul/28/how-to-introduce-your-children-to-a-new-partner

https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/introducing-children-to-new-partner_uk_5e4e616ac5b6a7bfb4c15c5d

https://www.familyeducation.com/life/dating-after-divorce/involving-your-children-your-new-relationship

 

What You Need to Know About Shared Parenting Time Bills in Illinois

DuPage County parenting time lawyerIn our previous blog post, we focused primarily on what are considered the best interests of the child in child custody cases. The “best interests of the child standard” by which courts in Illinois make child custody determinations has been in the news in Illinois for the last few years due to fathers’ rights advocacy groups and other organizations that have been supporting new Illinois “shared parenting” bills.

Proposed Changes to Illinois Law

In 2017, HB4113 was filed with the Illinois General Assembly. This bill sought to change Illinois family laws to state that 50/50 shared parenting is presumed to be in the best interests of the child from the start of a child custody case. After much controversy and protest, that bill was not passed. However, in February 2109, State Representative La Shawn Ford (D-Chicago) sponsored a new equal parenting time bill: HB185. While many advocacy groups believe this new iteration will be a fair change to the law, other legal professionals are less optimistic. In fact, the Illinois State Bar Association is in opposition to the bill.

More than four decades ago, Professor Leigh H. Taylor published an article in the DePaul Law Review (Volume 24, Issue 2, Winter 1975, Article 14), concluding that “Uncertainty can be removed and the best interest of children can be made more ascertainable only when the courts attempt to identify the interests involved and provide comprehensively reasoned opinions. Then it can be said that they are furthering the best interest of children.” In a sense, HB185 is a continuation of this thought. According to some lawmakers and advocates, this equal parenting bill would presume that both partners should have equal parenting time from the start, and only after the judge provides a comprehensive explanation with substantial, deliberative reasoning will the parents be able to deviate from that 50/50 allocation of parenting time.

Those who oppose the bill fear that starting with 50/50 parenting time as the initial presumption will embolden those parents who have committed domestic violence, putting children in danger. In addition, they worry this will set a new standard that will be harder on children psychologically. Children may be forced into uncomfortable departures from their usual routines in terms of living situations and day-to-day life if they will be spending equal time with both parents.

Another concern of the opposition is that both parents are not always willing and proactive in pursuing equal parenting time. For many, being forced into this from the start will create greater conflict, taking away from the main purpose of any child custody case: protecting the best interests of the child. In many custody cases, parents are not very cooperative with each other, making equal parenting time difficult to attain and less common. Opponents argue that codifying this already challenging aspect of child custody cases into law will complicate matters too much and exacerbate issues between the parents.

Contact a DuPage County Family Law Attorney

To ensure that you are up to date with the laws that affect your child custody case, you need to work with a law firm that knows Illinois law and stays abreast of the latest changes. Our knowledgeable Wheaton child custody lawyers can help you understand your rights and legal options throughout your divorce or child custody case. Give Andrew Cores Family Law Group a call now at 630-871-1002 to schedule a free consultation.

 Sources:

https://www.isba.org/barnews/2019/02/billinfavorofequalparentingtimerein

https://herald-review.com/news/state-and-regional/govt-and-politics/fathers-rights-advocates-in-illinois-trying-again-for-equal-parenting/article_f6dfa66e-22c5-5546-863c-ac59bb0a1022.html

http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/BillStatus.asp?DocTypeID=HB&DocNum=4113&GAID=14&SessionID=91&LegID=108029

http://via.library.depaul.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=2710&context=law-review

What Mistakes Should I Avoid in an Illinois Divorce?

Wheaton, IL divorce attorneyIf you are facing a divorce, you are likely to be plagued with feelings of doubt and uncertainty. While there is no “correct” way to go about the process of ending your marriage, you will want to be sure to address the various legal issues between you and your spouse in a responsible manner. The many decisions that must be made about matters such as the division of assets, marital debt, spousal support, and parental responsibilities could lead to you feel overwhelmed. Although you may be eager to resolve these matters and get the divorce process over with, it is strongly advised to carefully think out every action you take. If certain issues are handled improperly, you may face serious financial repercussions, and your relationship with your children could be negatively affected. During your divorce, it is important to avoid these mistakes:

Being Dishonest

Attempting to hide marital assets, providing your spouse with false financial information, or withholding knowledge from your ex, their lawyer, or the court could result in serious consequences. You may be penalized if you are found to be hiding money or other property, and if it is discovered that you are lying, a judge may consider this behavior when making decisions about property division or child custody. Ultimately, it is best to be as open and honest as possible during the divorce process.

Letting Your Emotions Control You

The dissolution of your marriage is the end of your partnership with your ex. The thought of moving forward into single life can be stressful and overwhelming, especially if you will also be spending less time with your children. Because of these changes, you may struggle with sadness, anger, depression, guilt, and a variety of other emotions. However, it is best to approach your divorce with a professional mindset. Putting emotions aside when addressing the legal and practical concerns of ending your marriage will help you make sure you can start your post-divorce life off on the right foot.

Not Focusing on Your Children

As you concentrate on the multitude of issues that must be addressed during your divorce, you should make sure that you are taking the time to meet your children’s needs. They are also likely to be overwhelmed with the changes that are occurring in their lives, and they are probably uncertain about where they will live and how their relationship with both parents will be affected. Explaining the situation to them in an age-appropriate manner, addressing their concerns, and emphasizing that you love them and will always be there for them can help make the divorce process easier for them and prepare your family for success once your divorce is complete.

Refusing to Compromise

Just like marriage, the key to achieving an amicable divorce is being able to reach agreements with your spouse. Working together throughout the divorce process and agreeing to compromise and find mutually agreeable solutions can make the situation much easier to manage. Mediation and collaborative law are different forms of dispute resolution that can help you and your spouse reach a middle ground.

Contact a DuPage County Family Law Attorney

A divorce can be a complex process that may take a significant amount of time to conclude. To ensure that your rights and best interests are protected throughout the legal process, it is crucial to work with an experienced attorney. At the Andrew Cores Family Law Group, we can provide you with dedicated representation throughout the divorce process, and we will work with you to reach a positive resolution to your case. To schedule a free consultation with one of our knowledgeable Wheaton divorce lawyers, contact our office at 630-871-1002.

 

Source:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/common-divorce-mistakes_b_6057888