After a divorce, even one that went smoothly, there can be a lot of anger, resentment, and sadness. But, when there are children involved, it is vital that both parents find a way to work together to be the best parents to those children. They are having their own difficulties adjusting to the divorce. Here are three tips for effectively co-parenting after a divorce.
Understand You Have Still a Relationship with Your Ex-Spouse
The divorce may have ended the marriage, but you and your ex are still in a relationship. You are co-parents to your children. That means you have to communicate and work together for the best interests of your children. This can be hard enough when parents have a strong marriage, but when a couple has been divorced it can be extra challenging.
Give your ex-spouse the benefit of the doubt, just as you would give a friend. Try to be courteous and respectful. Most importantly never talk bad about them to anyone, especially in front of your children.
Let Go of Trying to Control Every Choice
No matter if you have the children most of the time, or you only see them every other weekend, you have to adjust to not being involved in every decision. You do not have to agree with every choice the other parent makes, but realize that most differences are not a big deal.
Always assume that the other parent is doing their best. Your child will not be ruined if they get more sweets at one parent's or have a later bedtime on weekends than you would like. You both love your child and that is what is most important.
Listen First, Think Second, and React Third
If your children are telling you something that bothers you, or your ex-spouse is ranting about something you have done, you have to stop and listen to what is being said.
Before you react to anything, you have to make sure you understand everything that is being said. Often, just being listened to will diffuse many situations.
After you have listened, think about what you have heard and what it means. Think about how what you say may be interpreted. Plan out your response before you open your mouth. Do not be afraid to say to the other person that you are thinking about what you heard before you respond.
When you respond, make sure you are being respectful. No matter how you were approached, getting upset never makes any situation better.
If you have any questions about divorce, custody, support, or any other family law issues, contact a dedicated and experienced DuPage County family law attorney. Call Andrew Cores Family Law Group today at 630-871-1002 to schedule a consultation.