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Wheaton divorce lawyerOne of the biggest worries and fears that parents have during a divorce is how the end of their marriage will affect their children. While it is no secret that divorce can put children through some stress and uncertainty, it is often the best action to take for the sake of the family. Children who are raised in unhappy households are more likely to have self-esteem problems, trust issues, and in some cases, even behavioral or emotional issues that can follow them for the rest of their lives. Telling the children about your divorce can seem like a daunting task, but these tips can help you have a meaningful and productive conversation.

Tip #1: Tell All of Your Children at the Same Time

Many parents make the mistake of not talking to all of their children together when breaking the news of their divorce. They may think that younger children should be sheltered from the news of a divorce, while older children can be trusted with this information. This often puts unfair and unnecessary stress on older children to keep the secret of the divorce from younger children. It is often best to gather your children together and tell them all at the same time to avoid any unnecessary difficulties.

Tip #2: Talk in a Way Your Kids Will Understand

Each child is going to be different when it comes to how much they understand about the divorce and what it all means. Younger children typically have a more difficult time understanding what a divorce is, so simple and clear messages usually work best when explaining things to them. Older children and teenagers tend to need more information about the news of a divorce, but you should still use caution when revealing details about why the marriage has broken down.

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DuPage Count divorce attorney child custody order modificationAfter your divorce, if certain circumstances change with regards to your co-parent, you might want to consider the modification of child custody orders. However, doing something like petitioning for sole custody of your children or significantly altering parenting timechild visitation rights, allocation of parental responsibilities, or parenting plans can often be a contentious and complex legal issue. You need to be sure you have a strong case to request such modifications. Below are some signs it might be time for you to request modifications of child custody orders or other orders pertinent to parenting.

5 Warning Indicators That Child Custody Modification Is a Good Idea

While many indications that you might need to assume sole custody of your children are more obvious than others, there are still plenty of warning signs—both blatant and subtle—that now might be the right time to take legal action. Overall, the most important thing to consider with any order modifications related to your kids is whether making such changes will be in your children’s best interests. Here are some of the most significant reasons to seek such modifications:

  1. You suspect your co-parent is abusing your children, be it physically, sexually, or in any other way that causes harm to them. In most cases, if your children are found to be in immediate harm’s way, this will expedite such modification orders.

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DuPage County divorce attorney child custodyWith the average divorce rates in the nation for first-time marriages hovering near 40 percent and many states’ overall divorce rates approaching 20 percent, it is difficult to believe that some states like Illinois have consistently reported single-digit divorce rates. For 2018 alone, the U.S. Census reported that Illinois had a divorce rate of less than 7 percent. So why does Illinois have one of the top five lowest divorce rates in the nation? The answer might surprise you.

6 Reasons Illinois Has Low Divorce Rates

As with most complicated cases of this kind, there is not one single definitive cause; the reasons behind the low divorce rates in Illinois are complex and numerous. Among the most notable bases for these low divorce rates are:

  1. Safer Environments—Relative to other states in the nation, Illinois is actually quite safe. Most statistics suggest a strong correlation between a lack of safety and divorce. If you are not fearful of your safety every day, you will probably be more content to stay married.

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DuPage County divorce attorney spousal supportIf you have kids from a prior marriage, then you know that the divorce proceedings are hardly the last time you will hear from your former spouse. There are all sorts of things that you two must continue to work through, especially if your children are under the age of 18, including child supportparenting timeparental responsibilitiesspousal support, and much more. But how will this change if you decide to remarry? Will your new spouse be responsible for any of the parental responsibilities or child support? How will spousal support change? While at one time there was a clear-cut answer to all of these questions, in recent years, there is much more gray area when making some of these determinations in Illinois. The following is a look at how remarriage can change things after your divorce.

Remarriage and Its Impact on Divorce Obligations

With regards to spousal maintenance, the following is true in Illinois:

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DuPage County divorce attorney child custodyMoving forward with a divorce is not always the most obvious or easiest decision to make. For instance, after careful deliberation, you might find that the most convincing reason to stay together is “for the sake of the kids.” Statistics have shown that in many cases, remaining married can do more harm than good, especially if you are in a loveless or volatile marriage. However, you and your spouse may not feel strongly enough about your marital problems to go through with a divorce right now. If that is the case, you might want to consider the timing of your divorce with respect to your children’s ages and their development.

Coping at Different Ages

The truth is, there is probably never a “good time” for your children to deal with divorce. Very few if any children come out of divorce entirely unscathed. It can take its toll, and depending on the children’s ages, among other things, it might be more damaging at certain stages of their lives. Here are some observations about how kids tend to cope with divorce at different ages:

  • Babies—While babies cannot comprehend divorce, they can sense when there is conflict in the home between their parents. This can lead to irritability, clinginess, and some delays in development.

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