Recent Blog Posts
Techniques for Coping with the Stress of Divorce
Posted on April 17, 2014 in Divorce
One of the hardest parts about going through a divorce is handling the daily stress that comes with it. While many people think of stress as a purely mental issue, it can also cause physical health problems. One divorce counselor has even compiled a Divorce-Stress scale to help people assess specific risk factors.
Of course, staying in an unhealthy marriage can also cause significant stress, so often people’s best option can be to move forward with a divorce and learn to manage the stress associated with it. Some of the best strategies include reaching out to a support network, staying active, and seeking help from a therapist.
Find a Support Network
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Child Support Payments and College Expenses
Posted on April 14, 2014 in Child Support
With the cost of college rising and more people attending every year, a common question divorcing parents have is whether a child’s college expenses can be factored into divorce agreements. In Illinois, section 513 of the Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act provides the answer. That section provides that judges may award “non-minor support” in the case of a child’s educational expenses in some circumstances. The law provides guidelines on what factors judges should take into consideration when they decide whether to award support, what the support may cover, and what rights are afforded to the parents in exchange for this support.
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Tips for Talking to Your Divorce Attorney
Posted on April 10, 2014 in Divorce
You and your divorce lawyer will be working closely throughout the divorce process to ensure that you receive the best possible outcome. Since the divorce process can last for months or years, learning how best to communicate with your lawyer early on can save you time, hassle, and money at a later date.
When talking to your lawyer, it is important to keep the goal of your relationship in mind. Your lawyer represents you and your interests in court. That means that when you talk to them, you should keep your focus on legal issues, be honest and forthcoming, and ask questions about any matters that you do not understand.
Stay on Point
Staying focused on issues that are pertinent to your case can make meetings go much smoother and quicker. That does not mean though that it is not worth building a relationship with your attorney. The two of you will be dealing with each other often, and discussing sensitive issues from time to time.
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The Stages of a Divorce Proceeding
Posted on April 07, 2014 in Divorce
Although divorces are common enough today that most people have some experience seeing them from the outside, many people do not understand the actual steps of a divorce. Divorce, like many legal proceedings, is broken down into a series of stages. It begins with filing the petition for divorce, and can move all the way into trial, with several steps in between.
The Divorce Petition
The divorce proceedings begin when the plaintiff, also known as the petitioner, files a petition requesting a divorce. This petition is a piece of paperwork that makes the court aware that the petitioner would like to dissolve the marriage. The actual form itself is often very short, only detailing things like the general grounds for the divorce, the number of children, and other pertinent information.
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Asset Valuation in Illinois Divorce
Posted on April 03, 2014 in Divorce
One of the largest parts of any divorce process is the division of marital assets. In Illinois, judges divide the assets equitably, based on a variety of factors, including, but not limited to the following:
- spousal contribution to the marital estate;
- debts of the parties;
- age of the spouses; and
- tax consequences, among other things.
One important part of
property division in divorce is the accuracy of asset valuation. This can have a large impact on how assets are divided because a mistaken asset valuation can lead to a judge’s incorrectly deciding what would constitute as equitable division.
For many assets, valuation is a simple, straightforward process. Items such as bank accounts and life insurance policies have readily accessible cash values that courts can use to make their decisions. The issue of value becomes less clear though, if the spouses have more complex assets, such as private corporations, stock portfolios, or real estate. These assets often exist without readily accessible markets to judge their worth, or have such rapidly changing value that getting a consistent estimation of their worth can be difficult.
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The Conversation: How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce
Posted on March 30, 2014 in Divorce
People looking for a divorce often hold off on initiating the process for fear of beginning the conversation with their spouse. Sometimes, people choose not to have the conversation beforehand, instead opting to simply serve their spouse with divorce papers. Although this saves them the initial awkwardness of the first talk about the divorce, the surprise and formality of being served can start the proceedings off in the wrong way, and may lead to more complications further along.
While there is no way to avoid the uncomfortable nature of the conversation, the pain and discomfort can be minimized through careful planning of the discussion’s circumstances and content. The first part of the planning relates to choosing where and when to tell your spouse. Then, you should consider how to open the conversation. Finally, you should consider your spouse’s possible reactions and how best to respond to them.
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Living Together During Divorce
Posted on March 26, 2014 in Divorce
No one enjoys the thought of interacting with their soon-to-be ex-spouse on a daily basis, which leads to people often living apart during the divorce process. In fact, Illinois law even allows one spouse to temporarily remove the other from the home under certain, limited circumstances.
However, for a variety of reasons, many couples do continue to live together through at least part of the divorce process. Many people face financial constraints that make living apart difficult in the short-term, and strategic considerations surrounding the divorce may also make staying in the marital house advantageous. Consequently, many people need to develop strategies for peaceful cohabitation until they finalize the divorce.
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Dating After Divorce
Posted on March 21, 2014 in Divorce
One of the biggest steps people take after getting a divorce is deciding to move back into the dating pool. People can often be apprehensive about taking this step, since they fear they are out of practice or that dating has somehow changed in the interim. While these fears are understandable, there are many strategies for overcoming them and having a full romantic life after a divorce. With that goal in mind, here are a few tips for handling a first date post-divorce.
Make Sure You Are Ready
The first thing to consider is whether you are actually ready to get back to dating. Many people start dating as soon as the ink dries on the divorce papers, or sometimes even earlier. While that can certainly be the right decision for some people, others do it reflexively, since they are not used to being single and just want to find themselves back in a relationship. It is important for each person to take a deep breath and decide for themselves how long they need to process the events of their divorce. According to the US Census Bureau the median time between divorce and remarriage is over three years, although the correct amount of time is up to each person individually.
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Divorce Rates Rise Along with the Economy
Posted on March 19, 2014 in Divorce
Every divorce is a unique and personal matter that hinges on many different factors. An event that leads to divorce for one couple may not disrupt the relationship between another. Each case is different. However, that is not to say that there are not trends.
For example, social scientists have long believed that the health of the economy can affect the
divorce rate, but there has been some debate on exactly what effect it has. Some scientists argue that the additional stress of difficult financial times should cause an increase in divorces, but a new
paper from the University of Maryland, College Park offers the opposite opinion. The paper’s author analyzed the historical divorce rate between 2008 and 2011, and came to the conclusion that a downturn in the economy can actually keep people’s marriages together.
The author sampled the divorce rate among 2.8 million women, and found that the divorce rate fell from 2.09 percent in 2008 to 1.95 percent in 2009, which was a year over year decrease of four percent. In absolute terms, this means that 150,000 fewer divorces happened in 2009 than one would expect based on 2008. Then in 2010 and 2011, as the economy began a slow recovery, the divorce rate rose with it, climbing back up to 1.98 percent. Additionally, history shows that this is not the first time such a trend has happened. Divorce rates showed a similar pattern throughout the 1930s as a result of the Great Depression.
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Adultery in an Illinois Divorce
Posted on March 15, 2014 in Divorce
Adultery is an emotionally difficult issue that affects 16 percent of marriages, according to the Wall Street Journal. Illinois law recognizes the disruptive effect that infidelity can have on marriages, and allows people to cite adultery as grounds for a “fault” divorce. However, many people are unclear on exactly how to prove adultery, and what effect it will have on their case if they can prove it.
How to Prove It
Proving adultery in a divorce can be a difficult proposition at times, since it can be challenging to get concrete evidence. If you suspect that your spouse is cheating on you, bills can be some of the easiest places to look. Phone bills, especially for cell phones, can often reveal unusual calling patterns that could provide information about an affair. Credit card bills can also help you determine how and where your spouse spends their money, which could reveal a secret relationship.
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